Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
