do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
