I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
