If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
