You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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