random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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