my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
