honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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