Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
