oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
