Banned from zoo.
Again?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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