No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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