sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just pee around me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
