Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
