oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
