there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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