I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
