I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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