I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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