nut hugger
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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