Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
