she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
