THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
