Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
