Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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