i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize