she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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