After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
