I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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