5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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