Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Pooping to opera.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
