Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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