I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
