Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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