As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
