You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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