you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
