I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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