she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
