Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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