dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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