So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize