He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize