thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
