I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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