my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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