There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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