it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
