just tell him i said nine months
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
