Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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