everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
