AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you win again, gameday.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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