You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Randomize
