Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
