i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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