Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize