I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
