Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
