It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
