Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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