I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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