Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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