The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
