You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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