This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
