I cockslap morals
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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